Forever since I have poated

Here lately it has been mostly work and little play. I thought I should post something so that Blogger doesn't delete me :o)
















Our happy family

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Off the Wagon

I recently ran across this blog of a girl that has lost over 50lbs and wrote a blog called One Twenty Five to chronicle the process. It was so incredibly inspiring to me. I admire that she was so brave and honest in the writings and the photographs.
Often, I have thought about doing the same for accountability reasons and for support, but I just can't seem to bring myself to post the actual number. You know which number I mean right? That dreaded number shows up between your two big toes when you step on the scale in the mornings. Or at least, I get on it in the mornings because someone told me that the number is always lower in the AM. I feel like I live and die by that particular number. I am so obsessed that I feel like my happiness hinges on it.
A little over a month ago, I began the HCG diet. It worked so well for me even though it is extremely difficult. I began to feel so much better and lighter all the way around almost immediately. Now, I didn't feel as though I had tons of energy or stamina but I felt like I was finally, after immense struggle, getting somewhere in the battle of the bulge. I have lost around 20lbs since the beginning of the year.
During the difficult phase of the diet no one noticed that I was losing except me and eventually Big. He mentioned a few weeks ago that he could really tell a major difference in my thighs. I hadn't gave them much thought being that I normally try to ignore them, but I then noticed that my pants and shorts didn't fit tight in that area any longer. I have a bigger mid section than I would like to have and want so badly for a difference to show there, but I haven't made a whole lot of head way there just yet. I know that 20lbs is quite an accomplishment and I want everyone that I come into contact with to notice, but I am in no way finished. The benefits of clean eating are endless, and I want to continue.
The past week hasn't been great. I somehow have fallen off the wagon. Every single day I have been telling myself that I am going to jump back up and run after that dang wagon. I know that I can possess the will power because I did it for weeks. As much as I love carbs, I didn't die without them the way I thought I would. When I started eating that "forbidden fruit" I just couldn't find the will to stop. I have eaten things this week that I know that I shouldn't but I just didn't seem to care or quit. I have had a few good meals in between the binge eating, but I can tell that it isn't a good thing at all.
You know what? It ends now.
I have got to get back up and do this again. I need to be healthier and skinnier for my body and for my soul. I was proud of my small success but not proud of the way I look just yet. I am going to be in a wedding in March and I just need to be in better shape.
This diet has changed my outlook. Before, I tried different methods and didn't lose any weight at all. You know anybody that started the Akins diet and gained? Well, now you do. I did. And it made my blood pressure jump through the roof. I need to get my bootie to the gym. I think that will be the next phase of my weight loss. Like I said earlier, it is sort of hard to work out when you eat only 500 calories per day.
Work is beginning to settle down. Wait no, I take that back I just think I am beginning to understand all the madness a bit better. I hope that everyone has a wonderful weekend.

Today is a Day

Today is a day of remembering.

It is a day that everyone in our beloved country stops to think about where we were 10 years ago when we heard the news.

It is a day that we hug tight to our family.

It is a day that we are humbled and think about those people that we lost, but more especially the ones that were left behind after such enormous tragedy. 

It is a day when we all band together as Americans and forget about our political, racial, or personal differences. 

September 11, 2001 will forever live in our hearts and in our minds, as it should. 

My brother was here last night to pick up my nephew and he relayed a story that he had seen on News Channel 13. It was a child reading a letter at the memorial site in New York City. This child revealed that he is now 10 years old and was born a mere 23 days after September 11th. The letter was being read to his father, who he lost in the tragic event on that day. We hear so many stories about the heros but not as many about the people that were left behind. It broke my heart to think that this son never met his own father because of a vicious attack. It made me thankful for all that we have as a country and as a family. My cousin, Nick, just got back from fighting in this war that some don't think is still necessary. We have to remember how we all felt that day and how these families are coping with their loss. We have to never forget. 

Work has been very stressful and most of the time quite difficult. Now, I am loving my new job but there are times that I am ready to crack. There are times that I worry about not being adequate enough or efficient enough. I am trying to be as perfect as possible al day long every single day. Sometimes this becomes overwhelming and terrifying. Thinking about today and what this day must mean to all of those families put my insignificant stresses into perspective. I am not in pain, or suffering in any way, and I can cope with all of this. I just need to keep this thought every day.  

For the 2,973 people who perished September 11, 2001 after hijacked planes crashed 
in New York City in Arlington, Virginia and in Pennsylvania. The victims were mothers, fathers, sisters and brothers of many faiths and races who came from more than 80 nations. 
 All who were killed died working and living the American dream.

Grey Day

Grey baby joined us today in our pool fun. He isn't quite swimming yet but he tries hard. Mostly he just loves playing on the steps and jumping off of them. Everyone has to be ready because he gives no warning. Sweet kid. Love him so much!



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Summer in the City

I know that I have been neglecting this blog terribly and it seems that every single first sentence I write is an apology to the readers that I haven't been writing. I miss writing.
Since the last blog, our company has expanded to Atoka and Dyersburg. Needless to say it has been a whirlwind of stress, phone calls, problems, solutions, meetings, and more meetings. I used to hear my mom and other business types talking about meetings and I remember thinking it must all be so professional or adult. Now, I have come to the realization that these are just stressful and not always productive.

Earlier this summer Jay and I looked and thought seriously about this foreclosure that I found down the street from us. It is a gorgeous home that is probably more space than we could ever need, but I loved it and love it still. After careful consideration and plenty of going back and forth, we decided not to pursue it much to my dismay. Jay is better with managing the finances and planning for the future than I am. Deep down I believe I am just a little princess that wants what she wants and doesn't care too much about how it comes. Eventually I relented but decided that if we are staying where we are that some more (necessary) decorating must go on. First thing on my list is painting. I persuaded Jay to help me pick some colors and so we did. I wanted curtains. So we did that too. It was funny last night when we hung them because Jay said, "I mean, we are real adults now". This made me laugh and caught me off guard at the same time. It made me realize that I suppose we are adults now, but the thing is I can't remember when the transition took place. You would think I would have felt it, but nope. It just sneaks up and gets me sometimes. I feel like all we do is work and wonder where all the money goes.

On the lighter side, no pun intended, I have been on a diet and am doing okay. I have lost 10 pounds so far but a LOT of inches. My clothes are fitting very different. For the past week every time I turn around I am pulling up my scrub pants or tying the string in front tighter. It is a wonderful feeling. I am extremely proud of what little progress I have made because I haven't cheated. At all. It has been extremely difficult not eating out. Not eating carbs. Not eating sugar. Not eating more than 500 calories per day. I am tired a lot and my muscles hurt sometimes but the scale number is going down. I need it. I need to feel like I am losing it. I haven't talked much about it to anyone because I was afraid of failing in front of everyone again. I needed to take control over it. For the past two years I have been trying to get ahold of my eating habits and I think I have suffered and now adjusted to this new way of eating. I will keep trying hard to lose as much as possible.

I just started reading Summer in the City by the amazing Candace Bushnell. I breezed through the Carrie Diaries, by the same author, and am now loving the second installment. I would definitely recommend it to anyone looking for a fun read. My copy was signed by the author herself and every time I flip open that front cover I feel special knowing that Candace once held it in her hand and signed it.
My books are keeping my sane. We aren't watching too much television these days other than True Blood, my guilty pleasure.

Hot In Here

We are out at the ball game and it...is...HOT here!!! I have my fingers crossed that the sun goes down anytime now.


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Catch Up

Hi guys!!!

So sorry for my absence. I have had so much going on these days that by the time I get home from my new job and clean a little bit, I am exhausted. Let me take a brief moment and catch my bloggers up on what has been going on.
-I did transition into my new job.
The night before I started my first day I cried myself to sleep. I knew deep down that I had made the right choice, but fear of the unknown had seeped in. Big was super supportive. He kept assuring me that I had made a good decision. It was so sweet. When I got into work I realized two things right off. I had made the right decision. I was completely overwhelmed. Took me a few days to get every thing set up and then it was off to the races. We opened our clinic on a Tuesday morning and ran the first sleep study on Friday. Pretty impressive if I do say so myself.

-Pool Days have officially begun! Unfortunately I have been unable to attend very many, but I am excited as anything. There are few things in this world that are more appealing than sunshine, family, alcohol, and relaxation in some water.

-Our family has grown, a smidgen. "Puppy" my nephew's fish has moved three times in the past couple of weeks but has finally arrived at my house where he will now reside. I know that taking care of a fish is a lot of work, but it can't be like caring for two enormous dogs. Jay and I went tot he pet store, after I did research on Bettas and their environment, to get some things that I felt that were necessary in order to make Puppy feel more at home with us. It has been a learning experience. I do not have the best reputation when it comes to keeping fish alive, so his help was definitely needing. You guys that know me, know that I couldn't have a "plain Jane" anything so I decorated his new tank. We looked at castles and caves and rocks etc. Nothing jumped out at me until I saw the Sponge Bob paraphernalia and I instantly feel in love. Puppy now calls "Bikini Bottom" his home. He seems to love it.

-Tucker has been a little sick. We finally broke down and drug him to the vet this weekend. They put him on what seems like a truck load of medicine. He is showing signs of improvement, but the meds are making him a little sluggish.

My job has pretty much consumed most of my energy here lately, but I am loving it. I feel much more accomplished and calm here at this clinic. The only thing about being the Coordinator/ Manager is that I am having to get accustomed to making tough decisions. Over all I am just so excited!

How is everyone doing out there? I have missed you guys.

New Bedding

I was so excited to get new bedding that finally felt appropriate to our room. I am thrilled with how it has turned out and so are the boys apparently.


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Little Red Birdie

For the past several days I have been dealing rigorously with a cold that until today has been winning the battle. I am a horrible patient. When a chest cold comes and settles in, I almost always lose my voice after violent coughing sprees and tons of congestion. I can't breathe and I can't sleep. It ain't pretty. Two nights ago I became fed up with coping and was a little too zealous with the medications that I had been taking. I later fell into a very deep sleep and began to dream.
In this dream I was a little girl sitting at a dinner table at my grandparent's home with my little brother and both grandparent's.  Everything had been prepared with care and careful calculation and was placed into serving dishes with the appropriate silverware. All of this home cooking was on the table in front of us and had been passed to everyone and returned to it's proper place on the table.  At this point, my Papa turned to me and grinned, not smiled. There is a difference with Papa.
Grinning meant he was up to something.
He said, "Oh Megan I almost forgot to feed the little bird"
He then rose from his chair and began to pretend to feed cracker crumbs to a small red bird that sat on a perch hanging from the ceiling next to the window. What makes this more interesting is that the bird was fake, but the crackers were always missing when he turned to me and showed me his hands. I have got to remember to ask him one of these days if he and Granny were constantly vacuuming cracker crumbs after my visits.
I don't recall actually saying anything back to him in the dream, but I felt instantly warm all over. Like I got a window into a past happy that I had forgotten, because this wasn't a dream but a memory. I felt the urge to blog this or at the least write the story down somewhere because I had forgotten. That little bird represents a magic that childhood held for me and all the important loved ones that help mold me into the person I am now.
Unfortunately I do not even have so much as a picture of that little red bird. Hopefully, we will track it down one of these days and we will pull it out and laugh at the silliness of a little girl's imagination. Heck, I bet he is starving!!!!

Here Lately

I wanted to assure you readers that I am in fact alive, even though I haven't written in the longest time. Here lately I have had too much going on to even stop long enough to post, but I thought I would catch everyone up now.
For the past several months, I have been in contact with a physician who wanted to open his own sleep clinic. When he contacted me the first time, I was so completely flattered that he would want me of all people to help him achieve his vision of a successful clinic. However, I had cut my teeth in the business at my current location and I thought it would be a hard decision to make. Getting out from under my current director's wings, having to live and die with the amount of patient's we see, and walking away from a medical director that is known world wide for being the best were all things to consider when saying the final "yes" that was required for this huge step. After careful consideration and the occasional set-backs, I have accepted the offer to be the coordinator of this office! I submitted my resignation last Monday.
I am studying like crazy for my certification as well as having to think about getting ready to open a new clinic. Needless to say, I have been a bit stressed. I keep praying that he hasn't chosen the wrong person to lead this team into an early accreditation status and keep everything moving smoothly. He is ambitious and very patient conscious so I feel that we will be successful, however; there is always stress that comes along with that type of change. I am terrified and excited all wrapped up into one.

Jay and I have been trying to spruce up the backyard and different areas in our home here lately. In a previous blog I wrote about how our oldest dog, Tucker, basically destroyed all decorative plant life in the backyard. We have, wait scratch that Jay has built two large and one medium sized flower beds in different areas. We have also planted a large amount of monkey grass in attempts to have vegetation right off the patio where we spend time. We have to be very vigilant watching over the dogs when they go out so that they do not dismantle all of the hard work put into it.
I am hoping that I am up to the task of keeping everything at the same time.
Wish me Luck!

Tornadomagedon 2011

I do not know what we all have done to deserve all this crazy dangerous weather, but we sure have gotten it. Other than the fact that it disrupts my daily/nightly routine, it doesn't bother me too terribly. Jay on the other hand, has just now stopped pacing the floors, barking out orders, telling the dogs that he is scared too, constantly looking out the windows, and telling me to get my ID and put it in my pocket. All I did to prepare was take my Crocs off and put my tennis shoes on. I don't always feel like I am perfectly squared up with God, but I do believe that when it is "my time" then there isn't much control I have over that. Now, don't get me wrong I am not outside playing in the rain but I am not all that afraid either.
I am more concerned about my car taking on hail damage.

Actually, I inflicted some damage to my car earlier this evening. I screeched up into my driveway after coming from the grocery store and began unloading groceries while my phone went off. I answered, and became consumed with the conversation and completely forgot about my trunk being open. When Jay came roaring into the garage while the rain and hail rained down he noticed the garage down was already open and my trunk was still open. He closed it immediately, but the rain had soaked it's contents which wasn't much because I recently cleaned it  out. I am more worried about the wet carpet than the impending tornado. What does that say about me?
I will be praying for the safety of all of my friends and relatives tonight. Just be safe and be careful. I hope everyone makes through the night unharmed. I am also praying that we don't lose power and if so not for long.  Jay DOES NOT handle lack of electricity well. Take care. I am going to be thinking of all of you.

Caretakers

I left work this past week with a terrible migraine that was unrelenting. Anyway, when I got home I basically fell into my bed and gave into the exhaustion and aspirin. When I woke, I had two fur babies in my bed with me that were deeply concerned for my well being. Sort of....


Got to love their enthusiasm


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Demolishing Tulips

My sweet nephew came to visit me this weekend. He demolished some of my tulips, but he's too cute to really scold. Here he is before the damage took place. Sweet little Grey.


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Bring back the Sunshine

This weather is killing me! How about you?
As soon as I get used to a certain temperature, it violently changes and throws me into a tail spin.
This past weekend, here where I live, it got so cold that I just never could quite thaw out completely. I even dug my electric throw out of the bottom of the closet and put it under my comforter for about an hour before I went to bed. The only problem with this ended up being that I got scalded half way through the night and had to wake everyone in the bed because my fur baby,Austin, would not move off of it. Bless his sweet little heart because I think he might have been cold also.
These beautiful little tulips and hyacinths came up in our front yard that make me smile just looking at them, but now that the weather changed I find myself concerned that they will become "shocked" and shrivel up. I am slightly worried about them, which is funny because they are flowers...
So mother nature, if you would, please just give me back some sunshine because it has made me so happy and calm during a hectic time in my life.

The kingdom of God is within you.                                                                                    - Luke 17:21
I feel as thought I have somehow lost my way. My best friend Maggie used to say that a relationship with God is like being on a trail, which I always envisioned as a dirt walking path in the woods. She would say that sometimes people venture out into the woods for one reason or another looking for something or other. That first step they take into the leaves is enticing and thrilling knowing all the while that the dirt path is the right/ correct process. She would say that we needed to find our way back to the path. She has done this dance at several points in her life which is a helpful example to those of us that can't seem to live up. I need to shock my relationship with God. It's like exercising. If you fall out of the habit more and more eventually it only gets easier and easier to not workout. I think that prayer is a helpful tool but here lately I feel like God doesn't need to hear ever single trivial detail in my day to day. This started out small and now is to the point where I go an entire day without speaking to him. I am going to start re-reading the bible like my friend Becca does, a chapter at a time before reading the fun book of the moment. I need to instill some discipline into my daily schedule. I have begun to work out which helps my body. I have made huge steps in organization which helps my routine. I have completely opened up to love with Jay which has helped fill my heart. I need to spark something in my own spirituality.
Any suggestions on this out there?  I have several books and exercises in mind, but I wanted to get advice from my blog family.

Spring has Sprung

The one thing I LOVE about spring is all the color that comes to life when the time finally changes. In our quaint little flower bed there are few flowers, but the ones that come up are treasured.


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