Carrot Top

In most of my recent posts I have commented on how Grey is growing up so quickly and what a blessing he has been to all of us, and this post will be no different. On January 28, 2009, Grey Carter had his first jar of carrots! Like every other milestone in Grey's life it was recorded via Nikon and the new "Flip" Video Camera (which I had never even heard of). He did really well even though, at first, he was a little confused about what exactly he was suppose to do with the spoon and the orange mush. Shortly after the first bite, he realized that this was a much needed improvement from his milk with cereal. As we all sat around on floor and watched we were in awe of how utterly hilarious he was. He couldn't stop talking or maybe it was laughing, we are still not sure. Mom thought that as long as he didn't have an outfit top on he wouldn't make such a mess. Ha, yeah right Yia-Yia!!! He had orange all over both hands, on his forehead, up his nose, between each finger, down his tummy, and all over the outfit he had on. He enjoyed himself almost as much as we did just watching him eat it. I've heard that he will love the jars of fruit much more later on and after that it's very difficult to get him to even eat vegetables. It seems like he's been in our home for a long time and at the same time it seems like just yesterday he just arrived. It's crazy how fast they grow up and get away from you. All the while, you don't realize that you are also getting older with them. Just doesn't feel that way to me. Like he's getting older and I just stay the same age. The videos have been uploaded to YouTube and have been dispersed throughout Myspace already. He's adorable if I say so myself. While devouring the carrots in the tiny jar, his mommy made the joke that the smelly orange food matched his hair. For those of you who have only seen pictures, Grey's hair is red! Well, kind of orange actually. It's precious! And yes it did somewhat match the jar of food. LOL. Even though he is messy we all love him so much that it's overwhelming. Until next time..... stay clean and eat your Veggies.

Snow Anxiety

Well, I'm sitting here at work wondering if mother nature is about to strike us with winter weather yet again. Concern is being express across countless news channels about whether or not people should leave work early, get groceries, or even get gasoline. I am sitting in my chair right now thinking, "I don't have any gas!" I will probably run and get some the minute I leave work and I'm sure the gas station will be packed. People go bananas when the threat of bad weather is looming. On that note, most of them can not drive when the roads are remotely slick not to mention dangerous. This is why I stay home when it is icy or snowy outside. I'm not going to brave having a wreck because some idiot refuses to slow their roll and pay attention to the black ice and is pretty much invisible. It's very nerve wracking to even have to be out on it and then here comes a stupid moron that wants to go seventy down the highway. These are the same people who can't seem to understand why they have such a bad reputation with their insurance companies. If those people weren't bad enough, I think the people that are too afraid to drive normal are the really dangerous ones. Those of you who like to drive forty when approaching a hill or a bridge and then slam on the brakes, all I've got to say is, "What's up with that?" I'm not saying that I'm the greatest driver especially on ice, but I am very careful and keep a close eye out for things like ice and snow. Mostly I just stay home though. Again, all of this worry may be for absolutely nothing. It may be just like the rest of the times where all the weather men and women get us all worked up for no apparent reason and then say, "Ooops" it just blew right over us and there was no need for panic. Everyone makes a mental groan when we see it coming due to the difficulty it causes to get to our jobs and kids to schools. Remember when we were all younger and were so excited about getting to stay home from school because it snowed? Yeah, those days have come and gone. I despise bad weather, especially ice and snow. All of this makes me yearn for the summer sun and days at the pool. ( We miss you Jimmy Buffett!) Nothing is more relaxing than getting into the water, getting on the float, drinking my adult beverage, and just slowing spending my day tanning in the warmth of summer. Ah, and I'm there in a daydream right now..... So on my way home this afternoon I will be thinking about how good summer weather is and how much this stinks to be worried about some dang snow and ice.
On a more positive note, Grey started rolling over this weekend!!!! Our boy is getting so big. With help from Mom, he learned how to place his arm where he can actually roll all the way over. We didn't think he could do it without help until yesterday. His mommy was changing his diaper and turned around to get something and while she wasn't looking, he rolled off the new diaper onto his stomach. She was so surprised and excited and so were we. Until next time, stay warm everyone and be safe. Don't drive like idiots.

Signs

Does anybody out there believe in signs? What constitutes a sign anyway? And where is it written that when you see it you will just know that "it" is it? I wish that life came with an instruction manual so badly some days so that we all could stop looking for the proverbial "happiness" through outside sources. Just like I have mentioned in previous blogs, I am striving to be a happy me and I have had success on most days just being content with myself, but I do feel like there is something I should be looking for. You know, the sign that I'm making correct decisions or that I am living to the fullest. I have always walked on the safe side of the street worried about the consequences always and to the ninth degree. I have never tried many of the rights of passages that most teenagers or young adults do in order to say that they, in fact, did it. I pay my bills on time and always make it in to work, even if I am late sometimes ;). I almost never go out and hit the town anymore and I never meet new people. So I guess I am sitting in neutral waiting on the "sign". Even though I pray and look for guidance, I often am concerned about the choices that I have made and are making currently. If only there was a definite way to know for sure if everything is going to plan. God's plan is certainly definite and precise but very hard to decifer. I suppose I will just keep praying and keep looking for the signs.

One sign in my home that will not go unnoticed is Grey Carter. He is getting so big and quickly starting to mimic the actions of all of us. We've noticed his eyes following us around the room and laughing at silly noises we make. And no one could get us to make all of those silly noises but Grey baby. Much to my dismay, he recently pee-peed in my mouth after taking a bath but before his new diaper came. Mom was taking her time with it and he was laying on her bed. I unwrapped the towel and BAM, right in the face! LOL. I screamed an ugly word and he quickly stopped going potty. I moved my hand in attempt to wipe my face and then, what do ya know, he started going again all over Mom's bed. She couldn't stop laughing at me trying hard not to vomit at the thought of the urine in my mouth even if it was Grey's. Anyways, he is doing great starting to hold his own head up now and beginning to scoot his way. Last night he was talking, or trying to, and he would notice his toes and get tickled. Such a blessing he has been coming into our lives and filling them with little sounds and some big ones too. I can't wait for him to walk or talk and I'm sure as soon as he does we will wish for the old days again. Taylor's birthday is quickly approaching and it always seems so quick after Christmas. I have no idea what to get her, but I'm sure she will let me know. Well till next time. buh-bye

A Change.....

Whether you voted for our new President or not, I believe he is now our man. Everyone around my office yesterday was forced to endure an entire day of CNN for me. The long standing traditions of our country should be acknowledged and honored the way that at least 2 million people witnessed in twenty-something degree weather for hours on end on Tuesday. Being an American is a privledge and a gift, so whether you agree with the outcome of this election or not please remember this is a democracy and the majority has spoken. Actually, they spoke very loudly that they wanted this historical moment to come and now it has. Passing the torch from President George W. Bush to President Obama was a surreal moment and will be talked about throughout time. I was glad that I got to witness it, in the comfort of my chair at work. (No one could have paid me to go stand out in that cold for any amount of time) Even though I may not agree with his politics or some of his visions, I will be respectful to my newly appointed commander and cheif. Somber as President Bush may have been, there seemed to be a wash of relief that overcame him knowing that he would soon be back in Texas to stay. The parade was awesome with many bands from all over our country, including the University of Tennessee playing Rocky Top. This morning I got on the internet just to see the dresses that the ladies wore to all of the 10 balls. Can you believe after the amazing day the Obamas had that they had to attend that many formal events? I love the history behind all of the actions that were played out for us all to see. I also love that this country is still the land of the free where dreams can come true and we are all equal. Ofcourse, I felt somewhat sorry for John McCain who fought so hard for his time in the most famous house is this country. I will continue to pray for President Obama, for he is now at the helm of our nation. Hopefully he will continue to raise awareness of some of the big issues with his following and surprise the rest of us with his resolutions.

I suppose I need to issue a retraction from the last blog entry, because my best friend and her boyfriend have decided that they can and will work out their issues with each other. She is trying to be optimistic and he is trying to understand her better, but I'm sure that they will work something out. I love her and all I want is for her to be happy, but love and life is hard as we all know and can relate. When you really love someone I guess you can work the issues out, however, when is enough, enough? Recently, I have begun to see another friend of mine that I haven't in several weeks. I know that there are some people who aren't thrilled about it, but somehow I don't really care. I am having fun and maybe thats all I need is to just laugh with someone. God has a plan for me, my friends, and this country. I just have to let go of it and faithfully know that he will take care of me. Love all of you guys. Take care, and God Bless America

Still waiting on a flashlight......

Every now and then something or someone comes along to show you that your life is just as it should be, even though most of the time you second guess it. A very good friend of mine says, often I might add, that one should never ever be jealous of someones life because you never know what really goes on behind the doors that they close. My best friend who I love is going through something tough. It seems like we all are these days, huh? Her boyfriend/room-mate has decided for the moment to part ways with her. On the way out of her home, he made some hurtful statements in order to get his point across about how serious he was. As if throwing his things into garbage bags wasn't indication enough that he no longer wanted to reside with her. The last trip out of the apartment she asked him if he ever really liked anything about her. His answer was startling. He only felt that he liked how she looked, not who she was. Shattering all outside confusion about whether he was the one or not, this shocked me that someone would stay when there was only one shallow thing holding them in. Trying to be supportive, I have listened and given advice and hopefully it has been what she needed. For the most part, she has been the picture of self-control, very calm and collected. Unfortunately, that feeling of "empty nest" set in last night and we ended up at another friends of ours home. He was extremely compassionate and kind even though he, like the rest of us, has his own issues. I have joked in the past couple of weeks that everyone around me was "in LOVE" like it was a plague or epidemic. Many times I have prayed or lusted after the lives of the ones around me with not a glimmer of hope that it would come for me. The majority of the time I was overcome with the happiness that I had for her. She definitely deserves a happy ending. I am always looking for it and maybe I should stop but it is so hard to sit by and do nothing. Problem with me is, what do I do? So day after day, I feel somewhat left out but I am so very thankful to not be experiencing the pain that she is going through. I keep assuring her that we will persevere and somehow, somewhere we will come out on top even though it seems hopeless to the both of us. Men are men and women will be women, but there are those of us who hope to find a sensitive one that cares about us as women. The hardest thing of all is to just let go and let God take it all on. This is very difficult for me to do on a regular basis. In earlier blogs I have proclaimed how wonderful it is to have the loved ones in my life and this is no different, but it is hard to watch someone I care deeply about go through something so tricky. Love is hard to navigate and sometimes you have to fly in the dark without a compass. During this time one of two things happen, either you realize that darkness for the two of you isn't going to be endurable, or that one has the flashlight and the other the map. There is a quote on my desk that I read every single day. "The will of God will never take you where the grace of God will not protect you." I know that the darkness with pass, it always does, but until then all I can do is hold the map and wait for the flashlight to come along.

On a Cloudy Day

"Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete..." James 1:2-4 (NLT
Often, my Nana sends me devotionals via email that are fulfilling and very much appreciated. The verse listed above was included in the devotional for today and I am always amazed at how God attempts relentlessly to reach out to his children. The story was about a man who was overly excited about witnessing a sunrise. When the sun awakens it is gorgeous and for some people it is spiritual, but for this man on this occasion it lacked luster. As it was rising into the sky he compared it to a child's drawing of just a yellow sun hanging on it's own in the sky. The observation that was made then was simple; the sunrise was nothing without the clouds to accent the sun. They've been given a bum rap, but all along, these predictors of bad weather, these symbols of negativity, sadness, blues, and gloom really serve to expand light, reflect color, cast dazzling rays, and paint incredible scenes in the sky. He went on to say that everyone attempts to avoid trials and hardships in their lives and he is drawn to those people for the perseverance they embody. Individuals who have walked through the cloudy weather and came out on the other side are special and to be admired. Normally they do not get the credit they deserve and sometimes aren't acknowledged at all, but they are the true warriors. For all of you out there that are experiencing some hard times, take comfort in knowing that God is with you along with the people that are looking out for you and the "clouds" you are feeling are making you stronger and better. Without the troubles who would we be? And would we all appreciate the good times that come along after the clouds drift away? Sometimes I forget that we all have cloudy days and they lack luster just as his sunrise, but I know that after the clouds roll in I have a support system. And after some time they roll on by and I must learn to say that they made my life more interesting instead of difficult. Guess this is all apart of getting to know myself again. Enough of my rant for now.....

News about Grey, because everyone asks, is that he is getting bigger and more adorable every single day. Here lately, he's been watching a bunch of tv. Also, the little stinker has started throwing up a little after his meals. Normally this happens while someone is holding him and it makes for a big mess. ;) Only Grey could throw up on me and have me smile back at him and ask, " Awww baby, did that make you feel better?" LOL. Not sure what our days and nights consisted of before he came into the house, but now it's all we do is play with him.
Bye for now, ----- Meggie

Addition, Multiplication, Division, then Subtraction

I'm not going to say much or go into a lot of detail, but today I was given some bad news by my Daddy. It seems that he and his wife Meredith have decided to part ways due to just not being able to see eye-to-eye. There aren't many details to report other than she is moving out and my sister will now be residing with her Mom. This, of course, broke my heart for everyone involved and I deeply wish that there was something I could do to help. I'm not sure if Taylor has been told. On that note, I'm not exactly sure what one would say to a five year old girl to make her understand matters of the heart and marriage. People say all the time that numbers and mathematics are a constant even in the most comlicated equations. Now it seems we are back to the fundamental math that we learned in elementary school. You plus me, we get together and multiply, then comes the division, and finally the subtraction of the life we had together. Everything happens for a reason, or atleast thats what I'm told. Hopefully, everyone here will come out on top in the end. I know that I will miss Taylor being in that house everytime I walk into it, but I will see her and hang out with her any chance I get. Everyone out there just keep us all in your thoughts and prayers.

Faith, Hope, and Love

This weekend has, for some reason, gone by so slowly. I have worked, cleaned, shopped, kept Grey, had a lunch date, visited family in from out of town, and checked all my email. Right now, I am sitting here with a lot on my mind and having no such luck sorting it all out. For the past couple of weeks, I have played "Dear Abby" to my best friend about her new relationship. I suppose when people become involved and start living together there is an adjustment period that possibly can be painful and exciting at the same time. I have been concerned and cautious for her, however; I think it will all work out for the best. Now, that being said, I do often have trouble coexisting alongside several couples that are truly happy inside of their relationships. Most of the time my jealously is over-ridden by the satisfaction I experience knowing that these people actually found someone that could stand them enough to be with them the majority of everyday. It gives me hope in a strange sense that maybe it is just around the corner for me.

I believe in God and all his power and glory and I understand that he has a plan. Faith by definition is the belief in the trustworthiness of an idea or person. On paper, I comprehend the meaning and the concept, on the other hand, I am so lost when it comes to actually executing this process. I know it sounds like I am contradicting God and his teachings by saying that I have trouble with blind faith but I feel that in my quest for getting to know myself again I should be honest. There are days that I am afraid. Often I become so stressed over these fears that I can think of nothing else. Other days I simply don't care about any of it.

Lately, I haven' t been giving any of it much thought at all. Just trying to live in the moment and maintain the bliss that comes with letting go of all the dead weight has been my only goal. So you can imagine my surprise when people who are in relationships come around asking for advice. Now, this isn't bitterness that you are hearing in a toneless blog, it's confusion. I hope that the advice I give others when they solicite it is sound and good. Actually, I enjoy them coming to me with their day in and day out trials because it makes me feel involved in their lives and that the trust me. Basically they are putting their faith in me even though I struggle with it myself. Most people want similar accomplishments during their lives and I am no different. Even though I am a pleaser by nature I have yet to find a soul similar enough to my own to take me on as a project.

My Nana reads this blog pretty regular and after reading my last post gave me a bible verse that I thought was appropriate for the particular passage.

There are three things that will endure--faith, hope, and love--- and the greatest of these is love. 1 Cor. 13:11-13

I love this verse so I thought I would share it with all of you guys.

P.S. My little sister, Taylor, called and left me a voice mail today telling me that one of her teeth is loose. She has never lost a tooth before and was super excited to tell me about it and that the Tooth Fairy would have to come visit soon. Can't wait to hear the rest of the story.

Thats all for now, have a happy week.

Auld Lang Syne

When I was little my parents used to playfully explain to me that one day I would understand that time flies by without your permission. Naturally at that moment I didn't care because all I wanted to do was grow up and be a big girl. Now all I want to do is go back to a simpler time and be a little girl again when life's worries weren't sitting on my shoulders. Funny how life is that you always want something you can't have, or me at least. As I sit here and am blogging I am dumbfounded that this is the first day of 2009!!! Happy New Year everyone! Hopefully, each one of you got home safely and without dramatic occurrences. I, like normal, did not venture out into the world last night. I stayed in and kept Grey baby. We did have some visitors, but other than that we had a relaxed night with just us two. So me and my new nephew brought the new year together this time around. My family had a big year in 2008 with all of our news and new comers to this family and I can only pray that we all have another great one. For some reason I don't like odd numbers.... I know weird right.... So 2009 is strange for me to write already and I'm sure at work it will be incorrect for an undetermined amount of time. Poor Kyla, she will have to keep a close eye on my paperwork. Love you Kyla. For the most part, I had a tough year. Matter of fact, I've had a tough two years and am holding out hope that things are so much better for me this year. Sometimes it doesn't hurt to have a little luck on your side. My Nana doesn't really believe in luck much, and I'm not completely sure what I think even though it would be nice to be lucky. I once heard someone say that "luck" was when preparation meets opportunity. That's some food for thought there. Maybe in 2009 I will be more prepared when opportunity comes knocking no matter what the subject area is. The other tradition that is carried out on the first day of the year is "New Year's Resolutions". Again, I'm not big on silly things such as this, but I must confess that I did make myself a promise. I will learn to be just Me and understand that I'm me for a reason. To not apologize, hide, alter, or be ashamed of any attribute that was given to me will be a small everyday goal. Often, I feel that I don't fit into a situation or conversation and I tend to second guess myself the entire time. This happens to me now more than ever before. The ironic thing about that statement is that for quite some time I have felt the need to be someone else, or at least embody another personality. There was a time I was confident, playful, strong, and even compassionate. Nowadays I get up and don't recognize myself. Swallowing the traits that I thought were offensive has inexplicably erased me and all the things that make up the person that is me. So my promise for this year is to get back to the fundamentals of me. And as my Dee Dee used to say, "If it don't make me happy, then I ain't gonna do it". Responsibilities aside, I will be happy and enjoy life more this coming year. I refuse to worry as much about things that are insignificant and petty. This process was begun about two weeks ago and I plan on pushing through. Just in the small amount of time that I have dedicated to this pursuit of happiness has already made a tremendous difference in my attitude and moods. It's felt like being released from a dark box. There are many things I really need to learn, this and any upcoming year. A perfect example of that is too cook. (Hollie and Kyla if you are reading this just shut up, LOL) One step at a time I suppose. Even though I was venting and probably sharing too much, I want to say thanks so much for reading this blog and caring about my little every day life enough to take time out of yours. Have a great holiday, eat some black eyed peas, and Happy 2009!!!