Auld Lang Syne

When I was little my parents used to playfully explain to me that one day I would understand that time flies by without your permission. Naturally at that moment I didn't care because all I wanted to do was grow up and be a big girl. Now all I want to do is go back to a simpler time and be a little girl again when life's worries weren't sitting on my shoulders. Funny how life is that you always want something you can't have, or me at least. As I sit here and am blogging I am dumbfounded that this is the first day of 2009!!! Happy New Year everyone! Hopefully, each one of you got home safely and without dramatic occurrences. I, like normal, did not venture out into the world last night. I stayed in and kept Grey baby. We did have some visitors, but other than that we had a relaxed night with just us two. So me and my new nephew brought the new year together this time around. My family had a big year in 2008 with all of our news and new comers to this family and I can only pray that we all have another great one. For some reason I don't like odd numbers.... I know weird right.... So 2009 is strange for me to write already and I'm sure at work it will be incorrect for an undetermined amount of time. Poor Kyla, she will have to keep a close eye on my paperwork. Love you Kyla. For the most part, I had a tough year. Matter of fact, I've had a tough two years and am holding out hope that things are so much better for me this year. Sometimes it doesn't hurt to have a little luck on your side. My Nana doesn't really believe in luck much, and I'm not completely sure what I think even though it would be nice to be lucky. I once heard someone say that "luck" was when preparation meets opportunity. That's some food for thought there. Maybe in 2009 I will be more prepared when opportunity comes knocking no matter what the subject area is. The other tradition that is carried out on the first day of the year is "New Year's Resolutions". Again, I'm not big on silly things such as this, but I must confess that I did make myself a promise. I will learn to be just Me and understand that I'm me for a reason. To not apologize, hide, alter, or be ashamed of any attribute that was given to me will be a small everyday goal. Often, I feel that I don't fit into a situation or conversation and I tend to second guess myself the entire time. This happens to me now more than ever before. The ironic thing about that statement is that for quite some time I have felt the need to be someone else, or at least embody another personality. There was a time I was confident, playful, strong, and even compassionate. Nowadays I get up and don't recognize myself. Swallowing the traits that I thought were offensive has inexplicably erased me and all the things that make up the person that is me. So my promise for this year is to get back to the fundamentals of me. And as my Dee Dee used to say, "If it don't make me happy, then I ain't gonna do it". Responsibilities aside, I will be happy and enjoy life more this coming year. I refuse to worry as much about things that are insignificant and petty. This process was begun about two weeks ago and I plan on pushing through. Just in the small amount of time that I have dedicated to this pursuit of happiness has already made a tremendous difference in my attitude and moods. It's felt like being released from a dark box. There are many things I really need to learn, this and any upcoming year. A perfect example of that is too cook. (Hollie and Kyla if you are reading this just shut up, LOL) One step at a time I suppose. Even though I was venting and probably sharing too much, I want to say thanks so much for reading this blog and caring about my little every day life enough to take time out of yours. Have a great holiday, eat some black eyed peas, and Happy 2009!!!