Remember to Breathe

Why do we, and when I say we I mostly mean women, let our insecurities run away with us? I can't tell you how many times I get this silly notion in my head that something is happening or wrong that simply isn't. It's like I invent reasons for things to be a miss these days. I suppose, sub-consciously, I think that I don't deserve the happiness that I am experiencing at this point in my life. I am constantly concerned that I am not enough or not being the ideal girlfriend. I had a small freak out this morning. At this point, I am in so deep with the feelings that I have for Big that it is down right frightening to me and I just want to be his everything the way he is mine. My Nana recently told me to put those thoughts out of my mind because after waiting a very long time, I do deserve to be incandescently happy. Which I am at this time in my life. Thank goodness for Kyla, who reminded me to breathe and remember that we are perfect for each other and have a daily level of happy that isn't even normal.

The minute he got home from work today, I was assured that nothing was wrong at all and it was all just in my head. In fact, all he wanted to do was cook dinner for me and just chill out on the patio with me and the puppies. Here we all sit on the patio right now as I write this blog about my day, just as happy as clams.

Little Austin had a vet appointment on Friday for his last round of puppy shots. We both went hoping that we could get this taken care of and some Heartguard and be done, however; that didn't happen. He has some disorder that we can't remember the name of at this time that causes his lower K-9 teeth to growth up into his top gum. There are already indentations where they are quickly growing. We have an appointment with a specialist on Monday morning about this so that hopefully we can catch the problem now before it becomes a huge issue later. Poor guy. He hates going to the vet. Mainly he hates leaving Big and I. When the vet came to take him back to weigh him he ran under the chair I was sitting in and crouched down. I always feel terrible that he isn't the well adjusted friendly guy that Tucker is, but Austin is his own personality and we have to just go with that. I do love that he wants me above all else. Don't get me wrong, he loves Big dearly but when he is scared the way he was in that exam room he wants me. I am sure everything will be okay and all work out in the end.

For now, I am going to enjoy my happiness and try to quit over analyzing every little thing.