Still waiting on a flashlight......

Every now and then something or someone comes along to show you that your life is just as it should be, even though most of the time you second guess it. A very good friend of mine says, often I might add, that one should never ever be jealous of someones life because you never know what really goes on behind the doors that they close. My best friend who I love is going through something tough. It seems like we all are these days, huh? Her boyfriend/room-mate has decided for the moment to part ways with her. On the way out of her home, he made some hurtful statements in order to get his point across about how serious he was. As if throwing his things into garbage bags wasn't indication enough that he no longer wanted to reside with her. The last trip out of the apartment she asked him if he ever really liked anything about her. His answer was startling. He only felt that he liked how she looked, not who she was. Shattering all outside confusion about whether he was the one or not, this shocked me that someone would stay when there was only one shallow thing holding them in. Trying to be supportive, I have listened and given advice and hopefully it has been what she needed. For the most part, she has been the picture of self-control, very calm and collected. Unfortunately, that feeling of "empty nest" set in last night and we ended up at another friends of ours home. He was extremely compassionate and kind even though he, like the rest of us, has his own issues. I have joked in the past couple of weeks that everyone around me was "in LOVE" like it was a plague or epidemic. Many times I have prayed or lusted after the lives of the ones around me with not a glimmer of hope that it would come for me. The majority of the time I was overcome with the happiness that I had for her. She definitely deserves a happy ending. I am always looking for it and maybe I should stop but it is so hard to sit by and do nothing. Problem with me is, what do I do? So day after day, I feel somewhat left out but I am so very thankful to not be experiencing the pain that she is going through. I keep assuring her that we will persevere and somehow, somewhere we will come out on top even though it seems hopeless to the both of us. Men are men and women will be women, but there are those of us who hope to find a sensitive one that cares about us as women. The hardest thing of all is to just let go and let God take it all on. This is very difficult for me to do on a regular basis. In earlier blogs I have proclaimed how wonderful it is to have the loved ones in my life and this is no different, but it is hard to watch someone I care deeply about go through something so tricky. Love is hard to navigate and sometimes you have to fly in the dark without a compass. During this time one of two things happen, either you realize that darkness for the two of you isn't going to be endurable, or that one has the flashlight and the other the map. There is a quote on my desk that I read every single day. "The will of God will never take you where the grace of God will not protect you." I know that the darkness with pass, it always does, but until then all I can do is hold the map and wait for the flashlight to come along.