I'm here today to ask the age old question, how DO you heal a broken heart? For a change,I'm not the person with it, but my very close friend of too many years for me to list is and I feel just as helpless as she does because I can't kiss it and make it better. Yesterday as I got out of bed and swiftly began to get ready because, as usual, I was running late, I realized that I had missed a call that came at almost 2am which made me worry instantly. Mags had tried to reach out to me in the middle of the night and I didn't hear it. Her boyfriend/sort of roommate broke off their relationship because he said he felt he wasn't ready. I mean what does that even mean? Not ready? Why do men ask us to move in or take bigger and quicker steps than we even feel comfortable with in order to move it forward and then abruptly slam on the brakes? Maybe I am out of practice due to not having a fully committed relationship myself for several years now, but I do know that I hate it when men are just not that into us and allow us to believe that they are until we become attached and then ultimately weepy when we come to the same conclusion as him. As I cried along with her last night I wondered if it's even worth it to try to fall in love and then to feel so alone in this world and to hurt so badly when your life as you know it crumbles despite your efforts to glue it together. Loneliness creeps up on me too sometimes thinking that I could be married by now or I could have children of my own and simply don't. Currently I am watching, listening, and learning while the relationships of all of my friends are put on and off of life support while yearning for something of my own but all the while questioning whether I really want all the drama. Again, I am not necessarily talking about my friend because he is the sweetest thing for the majority of the time, but he still is a man and has downfalls just like any other in the eyes of women. Maggie asked questions that there were and will never be a good answer for, while I just tried to console her and tell her how stupid he is for underestimating her potential as a mate. I'm starting to think that arranged marriages by compatibility isn't too shabby of a process. The whole "we didn't work" part isn't the part that bugs me, it's the lying to the other person. The making us believe something that isn't true. I am not currently on the "I hate men" band wagon, but I understand that she is devastated and I can't fix it for her no matter how much I want to. On and humorous note, she told me yesterday that this is the first time she's ever been truly dumped and at the end of May she turned 24 years old! Hello.... Anybody else jealous? I mastered being dumped a long time ago! I'm not positive what that says about me other than maybe my friends should question my judgement and shouldn't ask for advice from someone who's never had a successful relationship. That topic brings to light another question. What is a successful relationship? Lack of divorce/break-up? There are plenty of people inside of relationships that are acutely miserable because they can't for whatever reason seem to break free of the problems that encase them. So my question is for you is anybody really happy? What is happy exactly in a relationship, not wanting to kill the other person? (Wonder if that counts every single day, because some are worse than others with boys) Some people think they have it all figured out, but do they really? I wish I did because right now, my Maggie needs some of that wisdom to encourage her that life is indeed still out there for a beautiful, talented, sweet, driven, and wonderful person life her. The entire time I have known her she has been awaiting the prince, the white horse, and the castle to boot. She believes in the deepest depths of her heart that true love is real and out there for the finding, even though I was the constant cynic saying that it wasn't so. I have always thought love was like a roller coaster ride. You wait in line all excited with anticipation even though it's hot and boring. You get on the ride and for a split second you feel satisfaction because after all that waiting you have finally reached the destination you set out for. As it starts up, there are some bumps and shifts as you begin your ride out of the darkness into the light, but 5 minutes in you are screaming because your stomach has gone through the bottom of the car your are in but you are still happy just to be on it. After being beat up in the harness and the seat you are in and almost throwing up, you decided that it is time to get off of this drama filled ride. Or your time is up and someone else decides for you. As you walk out of the tunnel and back into society, you are somehow thinking, where's the next line I can get it. Everyone on the ride wants off and everybody not on it wants on. Nice. These rides should have signs like, Drama Mountain or Heartbroke Hill. Maybe Tower of Insecurity and Liar's Lane wouldn't be quite as attractive as what we perpetuate in our minds but it might force us to pause and rethink it. I know that she will be okay. Hey after all, it won't kill you right? Recovery rate depends on the person and she's not ready to stop crying just yet, but she will. Keep her in your thoughts and prayers because unlike her, I'm sure you guys out there have felt what it feels like to be rejected by a man you really love. I love her and am worried for her, but I know she will be okay. Until next time, think warm thoughts for a broken heart and good luck to anyone else going through it
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Heartbroke Hill
I'm here today to ask the age old question, how DO you heal a broken heart? For a change,I'm not the person with it, but my very close friend of too many years for me to list is and I feel just as helpless as she does because I can't kiss it and make it better. Yesterday as I got out of bed and swiftly began to get ready because, as usual, I was running late, I realized that I had missed a call that came at almost 2am which made me worry instantly. Mags had tried to reach out to me in the middle of the night and I didn't hear it. Her boyfriend/sort of roommate broke off their relationship because he said he felt he wasn't ready. I mean what does that even mean? Not ready? Why do men ask us to move in or take bigger and quicker steps than we even feel comfortable with in order to move it forward and then abruptly slam on the brakes? Maybe I am out of practice due to not having a fully committed relationship myself for several years now, but I do know that I hate it when men are just not that into us and allow us to believe that they are until we become attached and then ultimately weepy when we come to the same conclusion as him. As I cried along with her last night I wondered if it's even worth it to try to fall in love and then to feel so alone in this world and to hurt so badly when your life as you know it crumbles despite your efforts to glue it together. Loneliness creeps up on me too sometimes thinking that I could be married by now or I could have children of my own and simply don't. Currently I am watching, listening, and learning while the relationships of all of my friends are put on and off of life support while yearning for something of my own but all the while questioning whether I really want all the drama. Again, I am not necessarily talking about my friend because he is the sweetest thing for the majority of the time, but he still is a man and has downfalls just like any other in the eyes of women. Maggie asked questions that there were and will never be a good answer for, while I just tried to console her and tell her how stupid he is for underestimating her potential as a mate. I'm starting to think that arranged marriages by compatibility isn't too shabby of a process. The whole "we didn't work" part isn't the part that bugs me, it's the lying to the other person. The making us believe something that isn't true. I am not currently on the "I hate men" band wagon, but I understand that she is devastated and I can't fix it for her no matter how much I want to. On and humorous note, she told me yesterday that this is the first time she's ever been truly dumped and at the end of May she turned 24 years old! Hello.... Anybody else jealous? I mastered being dumped a long time ago! I'm not positive what that says about me other than maybe my friends should question my judgement and shouldn't ask for advice from someone who's never had a successful relationship. That topic brings to light another question. What is a successful relationship? Lack of divorce/break-up? There are plenty of people inside of relationships that are acutely miserable because they can't for whatever reason seem to break free of the problems that encase them. So my question is for you is anybody really happy? What is happy exactly in a relationship, not wanting to kill the other person? (Wonder if that counts every single day, because some are worse than others with boys) Some people think they have it all figured out, but do they really? I wish I did because right now, my Maggie needs some of that wisdom to encourage her that life is indeed still out there for a beautiful, talented, sweet, driven, and wonderful person life her. The entire time I have known her she has been awaiting the prince, the white horse, and the castle to boot. She believes in the deepest depths of her heart that true love is real and out there for the finding, even though I was the constant cynic saying that it wasn't so. I have always thought love was like a roller coaster ride. You wait in line all excited with anticipation even though it's hot and boring. You get on the ride and for a split second you feel satisfaction because after all that waiting you have finally reached the destination you set out for. As it starts up, there are some bumps and shifts as you begin your ride out of the darkness into the light, but 5 minutes in you are screaming because your stomach has gone through the bottom of the car your are in but you are still happy just to be on it. After being beat up in the harness and the seat you are in and almost throwing up, you decided that it is time to get off of this drama filled ride. Or your time is up and someone else decides for you. As you walk out of the tunnel and back into society, you are somehow thinking, where's the next line I can get it. Everyone on the ride wants off and everybody not on it wants on. Nice. These rides should have signs like, Drama Mountain or Heartbroke Hill. Maybe Tower of Insecurity and Liar's Lane wouldn't be quite as attractive as what we perpetuate in our minds but it might force us to pause and rethink it. I know that she will be okay. Hey after all, it won't kill you right? Recovery rate depends on the person and she's not ready to stop crying just yet, but she will. Keep her in your thoughts and prayers because unlike her, I'm sure you guys out there have felt what it feels like to be rejected by a man you really love. I love her and am worried for her, but I know she will be okay. Until next time, think warm thoughts for a broken heart and good luck to anyone else going through it
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1 comments:
Thank you my dear. As always, life goes on. I know that I will pull through this no matter how dismal the outcome may look right now. I find it ironic though, I really hate roller coasters! But, come hell or high water, I'm going to keep riding. Love is out there. I have found out who my true friends are through this particular roller coaster and knowing how truly loved I am has made all the difference. I love you chick.
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