Needing a Map

I can't remember how old I was, but at one point or another someone explained to me that a cross road was a place when two roads met to form a intersection where four roads came together. So when driving down one of these roads once you get to the place where the roads join, a choice has to be made. Should I just stay on the path that I am on and continue straight, turn right, or turn left. Many proverbial crossroads are experienced in a person's life and often we think back on them wondering, did I make the right choice? I worry constantly that I should have done this or that, until I breathe and realize that I am where I am because of all the decisions that I have or have not made. Occasionally we have things or people that pop up in our lives that make us ponder the possibility of a past mistake and what would have been, and in these instances I try to make myself believe that everything has played out just as it should have up until this point in my life. Even if situations aren't what I wish them to be they are, in fact,what they are until I change something about it. Not to steal from Dodge, but I guess one really does have to grab life by the horns and ride it out. At every turn I have taken the safe choice, always too afraid of doing the wrong thing, getting hurt, or worse disappointing the people who care about me. That kills me more than anything, thinking that I some how didn't live up to expectations layed out for me by a person I care about. All the while wanting to get my hands a little dirty and just be a little bit bad just so that I had stories and would always know that I tried that thing and know for a fact that I don't need it, but I couldn't. Never was I the daredevil or the rebel child that caused problems for my parents out of respect for them, however, I envy people that have done some crazy things. Moral of this rant is that sometimes I need to swallow any fears I am having and live a little bit, within the limits of the law of course. Let's just say that I have some things that I am thinking about right now and truly need to own my decision. I'm quickly starting to think that happiness and all that it entails isn't just handed to you, it has to be earned and nurtured continuously. I don't know about you girls out there but I sure am upset with Walt Disney for filling our heads with the notion that true love is just a kiss away and that we all will have our princes someday. This is something else I will not hold my breath for. Again let me make a side note here, I do have a sweetheart around me right now who is great, but has his on variety of issues. There are so many of my friends that are struggling with the thought of is this all there is. Are men really such big babies? And where is the strong, daper prince on the white horse coming to carry us off and away from life's troubles. This is the mindset of all little girls who buy into the idea that Disney presents. Ugh, we all should sue Disney for false advertising. LOL. Okay I'm done with this for today, but remember when you get to a cross road think of how it will impact your life and the future to come and make the best choice possible. Or thats the idea anyway... Until next time, have a good Monday and does anybody have a road map for me?